A WEEK IN A FLARE.

So, what’s a flare really like? A day-to-day life of someone with chronic illnesses (this includes mental health) is a constant, not doing great but I’ll try my best to carry on, and then a flare hits and it stops you completely. 

I’ve spent 4 days in stuck in bed this week. Not only was the chronic pain all over my body just knocking me flat out, I’ve not been in a good headspace (the stress of a shitstorm that kicked off last week has enhanced this, thank you life) and the joyous abdominal pain has hit me like a tonne of bricks. Oh, so I did get out of bed to wash a bunch of bedding and clothes that were ruined thanks to having a fucking uterus. I’m a pro at cleaning blood stains now so I guess that’s a bonus? Going to the toilet to empty both my bowel and bladder as been fucking horrendous. Still not great but I don’t feel knocked about just trying to do a simple task of going to the toilet.  When you’re in that much pain, it’s also difficult to find any position comfortable, which makes trying to rest difficult and sleeping is difficult. Even more of restless nights than usual.

Walking and moving around. That’s difficult. Sometimes support is needed, such as a walking stick, but that can feel quite embarrassing to use as someone in their early 20’s. No one likes to admit they’re struggling but I guess the stigma of chronic illnesses and being young still hits you. I will admit that I’ve got a funky walking stick though. I just try to avoid using it as much as possible but sometimes I really need to. The pain from walking and standing for a certain time genuinely makes me drop to the floor because of this sharp, stabbing pain/pressure that builds in my lower back which then goes down my hips and legs, causing them to buckle. 

The pain became that severe that I struggled to even eat. It was too much. I just wanted to pass out or chunder because of the pain - let’s all admit that this isn’t right and yet it is still a struggle to have your pain taken seriously. Ultimately, I’ve been in a cocoon most of the week, I’ve slept a lot (which shows how bad the pain is that it is causing me to sleep when usually I am very restless and sleep deprived). I’m lucky that I have people around me who understand that I get this bad at times (to the point I cannot function for basic things like having a shower, yay for “hospital washes”). However, there’s still a lot of people who cannot understand that when people are in a flare, it’s not just a bad day. It can last longer than a day, it can last weeks and, for some, it can last months. There’s no “quick fix” but you just have to ride it out and try your best to limit what you do and try and prevent the flare from worsening. Sometimes it means that you have to take some very strong medications which also knock you about or you are away with the fairies and chatting absolute nonsense. 

Now it’s 3 weeks until my second laparoscopy so hopefully more answers come from that as these flare-ups have been worsening, such as the pain just trying to go to the toilet. Shout-out to everyone who experiences flare-ups, of any kind, as it really drags you down in every way possible and it’s not easy. Also shout-out to cocooning in your duvets because sometimes that’s all you can do. 

What can you do in a flare-up other than try and be comfy?