INFORMATION OVERLOAD.

The thing about chronic illnesses and/or conditions is that you just want to get to the answer(s) and understand what is going on with your own wellbeing. What we don’t think about is what happens when we do finally get answers. Information overload.

There can be so many years of back-and-forth appointments which lead to nowhere and subsequently leading to frustration and questioning your own pain. It’s hard to describe all the feelings and emotions you go through when you are trying to get some answers relating to your physical and mental wellbeing. You start to struggle to communicate over and over again what you are experiencing so specialists can try and take you seriously. Then the lack of acknowledgment to your pain becomes frustrating that you are then numb to people not wanting to take you seriously. You end up sitting there, sighing with disappointment and then asking yourself why you should continue to try and get someone to listen to your fully. All the roads leading to nowhere and you start to become a shell of existence and it’s just yourself and your pain, all alone and feeling ignored. 

One day, someone does want to listen to you properly and they want to explore as much as they can to help you find the answers. It becomes a drastic change and you don’t understand how you got to this point after being pushed around from one place to another. Suddenly it’s not all in your head. It’s real. Your pain is real.

There has been a drastic change into understanding what is going on with my health because there are reasons to my pain, discomfort and many symptoms that have taken a drastic toll on my day-to-day life. As positive as it is to finally be taken seriously and have your issues properly examined, it is just so overwhelming. It’s never as simple as finding an answer and having an easy solution to it. It’s complicated. Lifelong. Life-changing. You try one thing for months and then try something else. It’s a constant trial-and-error in the way of management for it all. In one way, you’re happy to have some answers and not feel so crazy about your pain and then, in another way, you’re overwhelmed from all these feelings and emotions from finally being taken seriously and then added to the is all the information you are then given to find the best options for you and your health. It’s completely overwhelming. 

The past couple of weeks have been overwhelming. There’s so much I’ve been trying to process in relation to my health and the next stages of that journey as well as how all of this will impact my personal relationships and all the work that I do. Especially when there’s been little work in the last 12 months and now things are starting up again, I’m being thrown another hurdle. Sometimes I cry because I’m that overwhelmed. Sometimes I’m just happy to feel less crazy. 

NEARLY SIX MONTHS OF HORMONE TREATMENT.