WHAT DO I SAY?

It has been a chaotic couple of months so I haven’t written anything new here. Yet I want to write and share everything but I do not know what to say.

It is like everything has happened and also nothing has happened. For some reason I feel like I am at a standstill, unable to say what’s next and unable to enjoy the moment. There seems to be this heavy cloud of what do I say now that is hanging over me. People are asking me how I am feeling and I can’t answer them because I just don’t know. I’m stuck in this place of waiting because I am still waiting to ear back from the hospital about my next surgery - who knows how long I’ll be waiting now. 

I am just at that point in life where I don’t know what to say to people and I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing. All I am doing and all I can say is that I’m just trying to cope with living in pain and that’s all right now. Everyday, all that I can say is that I’m tired and I’m sure everyone is getting fed up with me for saying that. I don’t know what else I can say because tired seem s to be the only thing that I can say.

I’m tired.

What do you want me to say?